Bacon and Eggs

The other day Doobins was playing in the other room, when Garnet overheard him say, "Well, Professor Ovaries, what do you think of that?"

We have no idea where he would have heard the word "ovaries." Neither of us have used it in front of him, and it's hard to imagine that he would have picked it up watching "Scooby Doo."

Doobins has a gift for transforming words so it's possible that he misheard some other word and turned it into "ovaries." But what word could that possibly be?

Mr. Doobins Meets Daffy Duck

A couple of weeks back I introduced Sparkle Girl and Doobins to the world of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Tweety & Co.

It's all fresh enough that Doobins hasn't started calling Bugs Bunny by name yet. He just says, "I want to see a cartoon with that rabbit."

When Garnet went to pick him up from the school the other day, she found out that, after being put in timeout for some routine infraction, Mr. Doobins earned a visit to the principal's office by saying to the teacher, "You're despicable."

He's really good with sound effects and voices, so, when Garnet told me about it, I could heard Doobins saying it in Daffy Duck's voice.

At the principal's office, Mrs. Parker helped him look up the word, and they talked about why it was wrong to say it to his teacher.

After I got home, I followed up with a little talk about how such things may get a big laugh around the house but you just can't go around in public telling people they're despicable.

The story clearly made the rounds of teachers because, as I was walking out the next day after dropping off Mr. Doobins, more than one stopped me in the hallway to tell me how much they had enjoyed hearing about Mr. Doobins saying, "You're despicable."

One - Mrs. Beckerdite - said it was a good thing she hadn't said it to her because she might not have been able to keep a straight face.

She imagined herself having to say "Excuse me" and stepping behind something to laugh before returning to reprimand him for such talk.

Although I have not consciously embarked on a campaign of turning Sparkle Girl and Doobins into anarchists, it is true that I introduced them to "Calvin and Hobbes" shortly after introducing them to Looney Tunes.

With Calvin on the brain, Garnet said, there's no telling what inappropriate comment is going to come out of that boy's mouth at school next.

Life Rolls On

To my way of thinking, the debate over whether toilet paper goes into the dispenser so that it unrolls from the top or unrolls from the bottom should not be a debate at all.

From the top is so clearly superior that I don't see what there is to talk about.

Garnet, however, likes for the toilet paper to unroll from the bottom. I have asked her to explain her reasons for this more than once. But, because none of the explanations make a lick of sense, they don't really register.

I know that, when I replace rolls, I could put them in the right way. But this seems pointless.

It would only create confusion and frustration which is not the sort of thing that one looks for in one's bathroom experience.

So, when I replace rolls, I put them in so that they unroll from the bottom.

The other day, when I went to unroll a few sheets, I discovered that the roll had been put in so that it unrolled from the top.

Huh?!?!

I knew that I hadn't done it so the next time I thought about it, I asked Garnet what that was all about.

It was her way of letting me know that she loves me, she said. I had been away for a while, and she was missing me when it came to change the roll.

Putting it in that way was simply her way of making a little connection with me.

I was quite touched.

You Talking to Me?

The other day it was just Mr. Doobins and me and the cat, Poos Maloos, at home.

Mr. Doobins got frustrated with something and said that his Bakugan toys were the only thing he cared about.

That's not true, I said. You care about Poos.

Yeah, well, that was true, he admitted.

And you love your sister, I said.

Yeah, that was true, too, he said.

And you love your mother, I said.

Yeah, he does, he said.

Not wanting to press my luck, I stopped there.

To my surprise, Mr. Doobins went on to say, "And the guy I'm talking to right now."

When I told the story to Garnet, she laughed and said that I would probably remember "And the guy I'm talking to right now" long after I have forgotten most of the "I love you"s that have come my way.

Yeah, I said, I will.

Monsters Inc.

This is a special monster smorgasbord that Mr. Doobins did for one of his friends. Garnet thinks it's so fabulous that she would like to keep it for herself.

No, says Mr. Doobins. It's for his friend.