His Dogness and Kingdom of the Ants

When the weather is nice, I take His Dogness outside to feed him his breakfast.

His Dogness's water dish is at the foot of the front steps. Sometimes, a bird will be perched on the lip of the stainless-steel bowl having a drink when I open the door. If so, I pause to give the bird a chance to finish. Some do. Some fly right away.

I sit on the front steps and feed His Dogness by hand, one bite at a time. I have been doing it for years, and, for years, Mr. Whitfield has been giving me a hard time about hand feeding my dog.

Inevitably, a few morsels of breakfast will end up on the bricks of the sidewalk. I leave them there. I know that soon the ants will appear. By the time we are done there might be dozens of them lugging away the morsels one ant-sized load at a time.

Sometimes, His Dogness doesn't eat his last bite. If it's somewhere that the postal carrier might step on it, I move it to somewhere out of his path. Otherwise, I leave it right where it is.

By the time I leave for work, ants will be swarming all over it. If the chunk is big enough, the ants may still be hard at work when I come home from work.

By the time I take His Dogness out for his first walk after the sun comes up, there is no sign of His Dogness's breakfast from the day before and no sign of ants.

It's one of my favorite things about summer.

Sparkle Girl's Diary XXVII

Dear Diary,

Momma and me were riding back from delivering some of her art to Gwenn at the Fat Cat gallery. Gwenn is really nice.

Usually, she has some cookies and juice out for the people who come in. When she doesn't have any cookies she still has mints. There used to be a pet store next door to her gallery. Doobins and me would go over and play with the cats.

The pet store closed so Doobins doesn't like to go to the gallery anymore. I still like to go. I like to visit with Gwenn, and I like to play with the purple fairy that one of the artists made. So far, it is still there whenever we go in.

On the ride back, I said to Momma, "Why do people say, 'I'm on top of the world?'"

"They want everyone to know that they are really happy," she said.

"But, if you were on top of the world wouldn't you be really cold because you would be at the North Pole?"

"That's a good point," Momma said.

I know I would be cold. Sometimes, when we go into the grocery store, I am sorry that I don't have a sweater on because the air conditioning is really cold. It's especially cold by the vegetables. It's like an open refrigator.

I might have to wear five sweaters at one time if I went to the North Pole.

Signed,
Sparkle Girl

Sparkle Girl's Diary XXVI

Dear Diary,

I like to have a lot of food on my plate so that I won't run out while I'm still hungry.

Momma and Kim say that I need to eat everything that I put on my plate. But I don't always do that. I eat until I am full and then I stop.

Later, when I get hungry again, they say, "What about that food you had on your plate that you didn't eat?"

I say, "I was full then. I'm hungry now."

Last night, I was hungry when it was time to go to bed. I said that I wanted a bag of cereal. Momma said that she was tired of me not eating everything on my plate and then wanting something later and that I wasn't getting a bag of cereal or anything else for that matter.

I was really hungry, though, so, after I went to bed, I chewed on my pillow case. What else was I going to do? It wasn't as good as a bag of cereal but it was better than nothing.

I thought about seeing if the sheet tasted the same as the pillow case. But, by then, I was full. I might try it tonight if Momma doesn't let me have a snack before bed.

Signed,
Sparkle Girl

Sparkle Girl's Diary XXV

Dear Diary,

After I put on my pajamas and Doobins puts on his pajamas and we brush our teeth, Momma tucks us in. After that, we get a good-night story from Kim. Some nights he reads us a story. Some nights he makes up a story.

A story he makes up might be a story about Jerome the giraffe who lives down the street. He drives a convertible. In the stories, he takes us with him when he goes for a ride. We don't know where we will end up when we turn the corner at the end. It might be a place where the flowers look like butterflies.

A story might be about Magic Ice. When you smash Magic Ice in the street, it can turn into anything. It might be a dump truck filled with gold nuggets. It might be 8 dancing ballerinas. Whatever it is doesn't last very long.

A story might be about Mr. Chundy. He owns Mr. Chundy's Magic Mart. When you go in and order something, he asks whether you want the magic kind or the regular kind. I always want the magic kind but sometimes Doobins wants the regular kind.

Chundy is a nickname that I made up for Kim. But he doesn't like it. He especially doesn't like it if I call him Chundy out in public.

One day he asked me if I would stop calling him that if I named a character in the stories Mr. Chundy. I said OK.

I don't always remember that I promised. When I call him Chundy, he gives me a look.

I like picturing the stories in my head.

Signed,
Sparkle Girl

Sparkle Girl's Diary XXIV

Dear Diary,

I don't have to ride in a car seat anymore but I still I have to ride in the back seat.

Sometimes when we need just a little something at the grocery store Kim or Momma will run into the store and the other one will wait in the car with me and Doobins. When we do that, Kim or Momma lets me sit behind the steering wheel and pretend that I am driving.

It is a lot of fun. Once, when I was little, I said I was driving to Hawaii. Kim said that I could drive as far as California but that, after that, we would have to take a boat because there aren't any roads between California and Hawaii.

I didn't know that Hawaii was an island then. But now I know that it is an island, more than one actually. I also know that the state mammal is the humpback wahle and the state flower is the hibiscus because it is one of the states that I did a project on in school.

One day just me and Kim were in the car. We were riding on the road so I was in the back seat. He was in the front seat driving. He got all excited and said, "Oooh! Oooh!"

I got all excited because I thought maybe he was thinking that we should go get some ice cream.

"What?" I said.

"Now that Halloween is coming up, we could drive over to the Methodist Church and get some of those tiny white pumpkins that you and your mother like so much."

I said that I thought that was a good idea. But I wished I hadn't thought he was thinking about ice cream because even though the white pumpkins are nice they are not as good as ice cream. I didn't say anything though because I didn't want to make him feel bad.

Signed,
Sparkle Girl

Sparkle Girl's Diary XXIII

Dear Diary,

No other people live in Kim's house. But he doesn't live by himself. He lives with Buster. Buster is a dog. Buster has another name, too. His other name is His Dogness.

Kim says that His Dogness has a lot of idiosyncrasies. I asked him what that meant, and he said that it is a nice way of saying that His Dogness is a nut.

One of His Dogness's idiosyncrasies is that he will drink water only from his water dish outside. Kim says that he used to drink inside and outside but that, for as long as I have been alive, he drinks water only outside.

Kim keeps a bowl filled with fresh water at the foot of the steps in front of his house. The bowl is made out of stainless steel.

The birds like to drink out of the bowl, too. They come and perch on the edge of the bowl and lean in and have a drink of water. If the water got really low, they would not be able to reach it so Kim tries to make sure it always has plenty of water in it.

Some birds use the bowl as a birdbath. They splash around. Some of them poop in it when they are splashing around. When Kim finds poop in the bowl, he has to dump out the water and start over.

Even though we would not be mean to the birds, they fly away if we come out of the house while they are drinking. They fly away if drive up and get out of the car while we are drinking, too.

So, when we see a bird drinking when we drive up, we might sit quietly in the car until it is done.

If it is a little bird, it might have to lean way in to get a drink. Those are my favorite.

Signed,
Sparkle Girl

Sparkle Girl's Diary XXII

Dear Diary,

Momma used to have to help Doobins get dressed. She says she used to have to help me get dressed, too, but I don't remember that.

Anyway, now he likes to get dressed all by himself. The other day he was putting his shirt on over his head and his head got stuck. He yelled and Momma went into his bedroom to see what the matter was. I went with her.

We saw that his head was stuck. His arms were waving in the air. We wanted to laugh but we knew that if we laughed he would be even more angry. So we looked at each other and smiled.

Momma pulled his shirt down over his head. Then he told us to leave becasue he wanted to finished getting dressed by himself. So we left.

After he got dressed this morning, he came in wearing a pair of my capri pants. They are pink. I was going to say, "Hey, Doobins, you're wearing my capri pants."

I got as far as "Hey, Doobins..." before Momma gave me a thump on the head and a look. I have seen that look before. It means, "You better not say anything."

So I didn't say anything.

Signed,
Sparkle Girl

Sparkle Girl's Diary XXI

Dear Diary,

Momma tells me that I am really lucky to have Doobins for a brother. She says that one day I will be amazed that God gave me a such a wonderful gift in my life.

I believe Momma because she always tells me the truth.

But sometimes having a brother doesn't seem like a wonderful gift. Sometimes he makes me so mad that I push him even though I am never supposed to do that. And sometimes he gets mad at me and hits me even though he is never supposed to do that.

Sometimes, though, I can see what Momma is talking about. Last night I had a headache so bad that I had to close my eyes because the light hurt them. Momma gave me some medicine and told me that I could go lie down with the lights out.

Doobins gave me a hug and got an ice pack out of the refrigerator and put it on my pillow. It was one of those hard ice packs that I don't like but it is the thought that counts. Then he got me a bag of cereal so that I could have a snack in bed.

When I climbed under the covers, he put a blanket on my chest and tucked it up around my neck so that I would feel snug.

My head still hurt just as much but I felt a lot better anyway.

Signed,
Sparkle Girl

Sparkle Girl's Diary XX

Dear Diary,

When I grow up, I am going to be an artist and a mommie for sure. I also want to have my own restaurant at the beach.

I am going to call it Seahorse Bay. One wall will be a giant fish tank with fish with lots of colors. And the other walls will be ocean color with different bubbles. Some bubbles will be blue and some will be green. And then I want little pink seahorses swimming around the bubbles.

The walls will also have pictures that Momma drew. I don't know what they will be because she can draw whatever she wants.

People can sit at the blue counter with blue chairs or at the green booths with green tables.

I'm going to sell lemonade and smoothies and French fries. I'm not going to sell any seafood. If somebody wants that, they can get it at another restaurant.

Of course, I am going to sell ice cream, too.

Wait, wait, hot dogs, too.

That's all.

Signed,
Sparkle Girl

Sparkle Girl's Diary XIX

Dear Diary,

Every week I get an allowance. To get it, I am supposed to feed Poos every day and change his water without being told. His full name is Poos Maloos but most of the time we just call him Poos.

Plus, I am supposed to keep my room clean without being told.

Sometimes I forget and Momma has to remind me. Even if she has to remind me, she still gives me my allowance.

I have been saving my money so that I can buy a kitchen set for my Continental Girl doll. But today I decided to spend some of my money for a miniature Noah's Ark. Tomorrow, I will go back to saving money for my Continental Girl kitchen set.

I can do lots of things on the computer but, when I order something, Momma or Kim has to help me. Momma was making egg salad because I said that I sure would love to have an egg salad sandwich for lunch so I asked Kim to help me.

The miniature Noah's Ark cost $9.99. When Kim ordered it, a big sign appeared that said if we spent only $140.01 more, shipping would be free.

I asked Kim if $140.01 is a lot of money. It depends, he said. If that's all you got paid in a week, you would think it was a really small amount of money, he said. But if that is how much more they wanted you to spend on toys to get free shipping, it is a lot, he said.

So we paid for the shipping.

The Noah's Ark came in three days. My favorite animals are the camels.

Signed,
Sparkle Girl

Sparkle Girl's Diary XVIII

Dear Diary,

Kim has a friend named Liz who lives in Baltimore. Sometimes she sends him packages of these cookies that you can buy only in Baltimore. The cookie part is white and kind of plain tasting. They put chocolate icing on top of the cookie part. It is the most icing I have ever seen on a cookie.

They are really good.

When Liz sends some packages, Kim takes one package to work. Everyone at work is invited to have a cookie except for Heidi. Kim said that the first time he gave her one, he was walking by her desk later and saw a cookie with one bite out of it in the trash can.

When he asked her what happened, she said it was too rich.

Too rich, Kim said, he doesn't know what is wrong with some people. He said he would have eaten the rest of it if she hadn't thrown it in the trash can.

So now he doesn't offer her one. That's OK, she says, because she doesn't want one anyway.

Sometimes Kim gives me an extra cookie. When he does, he says I'm eating Heidi's cookie.

I met her once when Kim took me to his office. I thanked her for all the cookies that she didn't eat.

She said I was welcome.

Signed,
Sparkle Girl